I love and hate the end of the semester.
I get so excited that it’s (thank God) finally over and then I remember just how much work I still have to do. I thought that I had finally dealt with my habit of procrastinating but according to my class work to do note, I apparently haven’t.
Maybe I shouldn’t do anything about this problem. Maybe if I were a super hero that could be my power. I could be known as “The Procrastinator†and I’d have a slogan that went something like “If you have a problem that can wait a while, call The Procrastinator and she’ll get to it when she has nothing better to doâ€. I’m not sure that will strike fear into the heart of “The Timeliness Toad†whose slogan (of course) is “I’ll hop to terrorize your communities like the delicious flies that you are and eat you alive.â€
I can almost hear the crowd cheering for me now, hopeful that I’ll leave couch and DVR to save a life.
I can’t compete with that toad guy. He eats people alive for goodness sake – with his gigantic sticky tongue! That tongue of fury was really scary! (Did I mention that his tongue was called the tongue of fury?) It moves very quickly and then he doesn’t just terrorize, he hops to terrorize. I’m very short! I can’t see that coming!!!!
This is way too much pressure.
Good luck Tam-lando, The Procrastinator is going back to lie on the couch… or to do my homework.
The couch is calling 
So Miss Ranch Dressing has evolved into The Procrastinator. I would call on her to save me, but I’m busy watching tv and surfing the net. So much time to waste, so much work to be done.
love you
m
I can just see your TV special now. Oh, that toad is scarry! And I can hear the theme song (sung to the tune of When You Wish Upon a Star — which, coincidentally, isn’t a bad theme song for the show in its own right):
When you need to get it done
Run the clock down to the gun
Anything your heart desires
She’ll do for you
Let it go, she’ll be enroute
If it’s the final minute
When you need to get it done
She’ll do for you
Oh, if it’s important
Don’t plan, just let it go
Take a nap, bask in the glow
Of your TV
Just relax, it’ll be alright
Even if she’s awake all night
The night before it’s due
She’ll do for you
I have a friend that you could team with to form a super-group. He’s “the distractor.” His power is to derail any person and any conversation down totally unrelated paths, so they forget what they were talking about before.
I’m thinking you use him when people complain that you’re taking too long, so they forget their complaints.
And your super team, rather than “Justice League” or “Super Friends” could be “Average Aquaintenaces.” I like that, you could all have outfits with “AA” on them. That would mean, though, that you may have to put up with the occasional request from strangers to help them stop drinking.
At work, I’m known as “Inappropriate Man.” Maybe we should start a league of anti-heros!!!
You know…later, maybe.
I would love to be part of AA! I could be known as Anti-Priority Man…..able to switch priorities in a single bound! For example, my priority is to shrink my blubber but so I run to the store to buy a grapefruit but fast than a locomotive, I walk out with a black and white cookie!